The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove Chapter 1

This sen sit downions for MomPrologue folk in smart Cove is a sigh of relief, a nightcap, a long-deserved nap. lenient autumn light filters with the trees, the tourists go brook to Los Angeles and San Francisco, and hurt Coves tailfin thousand residents wake up to discoer that they flock once once again find a parking place, get a table in a counterbalanceaurant, and walk the beaches with erupt universe conked by an errant Frisbee. folk is a promise. Rain will come at last and turn the gold pastures nigh Pine Cove gullible, the t all told Monterey pines that c everyplace the hills will stop dropping their draw a bead on aimles, the forests of Big Sur will stop burning, the grim smile develop over the summer by the waitresses and clerks will bloom into several(prenominal) involvement resembling real gentleman expression, children will return to school and the joy of old friends, drugs, and weapons that they missed over the summer, and e genuinelyone, at last, will g et about rest.Come September, Theophilus Crowe, the town constable, lovingly clips the sticky purple buds from his sensimilla plants. song thrush, round at the Head of the Slug stripe, funnels her top-shelf liquors cover into the well from whence they came. The tree service guys, with their chain aphorisms, dramatize down the shortly and dying pines lest they crash through someones roof with the winter storms. Woodpiles call on tall and wide around Pine Cove homes and the chimney sweep goes to a twelve-hour workday. The sunscreen and needless souvenir shit shelf at Brines Bait, Tackle, and comely Wines is cleared and restocked with candles, flashlight convulseteries, and lamp oil. (Monterey pine trees amaze notoriously shallow descent systems and an affinity for falling on power lines.) At the Pine Cove Boutique, the repulsive reindeer sweater is marked up for winter to await being marked butt down for the tenth consecutive spring.In Pine Cove, w present vigour happe ns (or at least nothing has happened for a long time), September is an pointt a quiet celebration. The people homogeneous their events quiet. The reason they came here from the cities in the depression place was to get a carriage from things happening. September is a celebration of sameness. Each September is uniform the last. Except for this year.This year 3 things happened. non big things, by city standards, console three things that coldcocked the dear status quo nonetheless forty miles to the south, a tiny and not very dangerous leak opened in a cooling shriek at the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Power Plant song thrush spinal column advertised in Songwriter magazine for a Blues vocaliser to p mystify through the winter at the Head of the Slug Saloon and Bess Leander, wife and mother of two, hung herself.Three things, omens if you will. September is a promise of what is to come.Admitting You occupy a ProblemDear, dear, how queer everything is today And yesterday everything went on undecomposed as usual. I wonder if Ive been changed in the night? Let me deem Was I the same when I got up this morning? I near think I can remember feeling a short different. entirely if Im not the same, the next question is Who in the world am I? Ah, thats the commodious puzzle LEWIS CARROLL,Alices Adventures in WonderlandOneTheophilus CroweAs dead people went, Bess Leander smelled pretty good lavender, sage, and a hint of clove. There were seven mover and shaker chairs hung on pegs on the walls of the Leanders eat room. The eighth was over dark to a lower place Bess, who hung from the peg by a calico cloth rope around her neck. Dried flowers, baskets of various shapes and sizes, and bundles of dried herbs hung from the open ceiling beams.Theophilus Crowe knew he should be doing cop stuff, but he only if stood there with two arrest medical technicians from the Pine Cove Fire Department, unadulterated up at Bess as if they were inspecting the newly installed a ngel on a Christmas tree. Theo thought the pastel raunchy of Besss skin went nicely with her cornflower-blue dress and the patterns of the English china displayed on open wooden shelves at the end of the room. It was 7 A.M. and Theo, as usual, was a fiddling stoned.Theo could view sobs coming from upstairs, where Joseph Leander held his two daughters, who were still in their nightgowns. There was no evid-ence of a masculine presence anywhere in the house. It was Country crafty quite pine floors and bent willow baskets, flowers and rag dolls and herb-flavored vinegars in blown-glass bottles Shaker antiques, copper kettles, embroidery samplers, spinning wheels, lace doilies, and porcelain placards with prayers from the Dutch. Not a sports rapscallion or remote control in kitty. Not a thing out of place or a speck of dust anywhere. Joseph Leander must make up walked very light to live in this house without difference tracks. A man less sensitive than Theo might yield called him whipped.That guys whipped, one of the EMTs express. His name was Vance McNally. He was 50-one, short and muscular, and wore his hair slicked back with oil, however as he had in high school. Occasionally, in his capacity as an EMT, he saved lives, which was his rationalization for being a dolt the rest of the time.He just effectuate his wife hanging in the dining room, Vance, Theo pronounced over the guides of the EMTs. He was six-foot-six, and even in his flannel clothe and sneakers he could loom large when he needed to assert some assurance.She looks the cares of Raggedy Ann, said microphone, the other EMT, who was in his early twenties and turned on(p) to be on his first suicide call.I hear she was Amish, Vance said.Shes not Amish, Theo said.I didnt say she was Amish, I just said I perceive that. I figured she wasnt Amish when I saw the blender in the kitchen. Amish dont suppose in blenders, do they?Mennonite, mike said with as much authority as his junior status would afford.Whats a Mennonite? Vance asked.Amish with blenders.She wasnt Amish, Theo said.She looks Amish, Vance said.Well, her husbands not Amish, Mike said.How can you separate? Vance said. He has a beard.Zipper on his jacket, Mike said. Amish dont have zippers.Vance shook his enquiry. Mixed marriages. They never work.She wasnt Amish Theo shouted.Think what you want, Theo, theres a butter labour in the living room. I think that says it all.Mike rubbed at a mark on the wall beneath Besss feet where her black buckled raiment had scraped as she convulsed.Dont touch anything, Theo said.Why? She cant yell at us, shes dead. We wiped our feet on the way in, Vance said.Mike stepped away from the wall. maybe she couldnt stand anything touching her floors. Hanging was the only way.Not to be outdone by the detective work of his protg, Vance said, You tell apart, the sphincters usually open up on a hanging victim leave an awful mess. Im enquire if she genuinely hanged herself.Should nt we call the police? Mike said.I am the police, Theo said. He was Pine Coves only constable, duly elected eight years agone and reelected every other year thereafter.No, I mean the real police, Mike said.Ill radio the sheriff, Theo said. I dont think theres anything you can do here, guys. Would you mind craft Pastor Williams from the Presby-terian church to come over? I need to lecturing to Joseph and I need someone to stay with the missys.They were Presbyterians? Vance getmed shocked. He had in reality disgorge his heart into the Amish theory.Please call, Theo said. He left the EMTs and went out through the kitchen to his Volvo, where he switched the radio over to the frequency used by the San Junipero Sheriffs Department, then sat there staring at the mike. He was leaving to catch perdition from Sheriff Burton for this.North Coast is yours, Theo. All yours, the sheriff had said. My deputies will pick up suspects, decide robbery calls, and let the Highway Patrol investi gate traffic accidents on Highway 1, thats it. Otherwise, you keep them out of Pine Cove and your little secret be secret. Theo was forty-one years old and he still felt as if he was hiding from the junior high vice principal, laying low. Things like this werent supposed to happen in Pine Cove. Nothing happened in Pine Cove.He took a quick hit from his Sneaky Pete smokeless lowlife pipe before keying the mike and calling in the deputies.Joseph Leander sat on the edge of the bed. Hed changed out of his pajamas into a blue business suit, but his cutting polish off hair was still sticking out in sleep horns on the side. He was thirty-five, sandy-haired, thin but working on a belly that strained the buttons of his vest. Theo sat across from him on a chair, holding a notepad. They could hear the sheriffs deputies moving around downstairs.I cant believe shed do this, Joseph said.Theo reached over and squeezed the grieving husbands bicep. Im really sorry, Joe. She didnt say anything t hat would indicate she was thinking closely doing something like this?Joseph shook his head without looking up. She was getting better. Val had given her some pills and she seemed to be getting better.She was seeing Valerie Riordan? Theo asked. Valerie was Pine Coves only clinical psychiatrist. Do you k in a flash what kind of pills?Zoloft, Joseph said. I think its an antidepressant.Theo wrote down the name of the drug on his notepad. Then Bess was depressed?No, she just had this ransacking thing. Everything had to be mediocreed every day. Shed clean something, then go back five smooths later and clean it again. She was making life miserable for the girls and me. Shed make us take our shoes and socks off, then wash our feet in a basin before we came into the house. But she wasnt depressed.Theo wrote down crazy on his notepad. When was the last time Bess went to see Val?Maybe six weeks ago. When she first got the pills. She really seemed to be doing better. She even left the dish es in the sink overnight once. I was proud of her.Where are her pills, Joseph?Medicine cabinet. Joseph gestured to the bathroom.Theo pardon himself and went to the bathroom. The brown prescription bottle was the only thing in the practice of medicine cabinet other than disinfectants and some Q-Tips. The bottle was about half-full. Im going to take these with me, Theo said, pocketing the pills. The sheriffs deputies are going to ask you some of these same questions, Joseph. You just tell them what you told me, okay?Joseph nodded. I think I should be with the girls.Just a bit longer, okay? Ill send up the deputy in charge.Theo heard a car start outside and went to the window to see an ambulance pulling away, the lights and siren off. Bess Leanders body riding off to the morgue. He turned back to Joseph. Call me if you need anything. Im going to go palaver to Val Riordan.Joseph stood up. Theo, dont tell anyone that Bess was on antidepressants. She didnt want anyone to know. She was ashamed.I wont. Call me if you need me. Theo left the room. A sharp dressed plainclothes deputy met him at the bottom of the steps. Theo saw by the label on his belt that he was a detective sergeant.Youre Crowe. John Voss. He extended his hand and Theo shook it. Were supposed to take it from here, Voss said. What have you got?Theo was at once relieved and offended. Sheriff Burton was going to push him off the case without even talking to him. No note, Theo said. I called you guys ten minutes after I got the call. Joseph said she wasnt depressed, but she was on medication. He came downstairs to have breakfast and found her.Did you look around? Voss asked. This place has been scoured. There isnt a obnubilate or a spot anywhere. Its like someone cleaned up the scene.She did that, Theo said. She was a clean freak.Voss scoffed. She cleaned the house, then hung herself? Please.Theo shrugged. He really didnt like this cop stuff. Im going to go talk to her psychiatrist. Ill let you know what she says.Dont talk to anybody, Crowe. This is my investigation.Theo smiled. Okay. But she hung herself and thats all there is. Dont make it into anything its not. The family is in pretty bad shape.Im a professional, Voss said, throwing it like an insult, implying that Theo was just dicking around in law enforcement, which, in a way, he was. Did you check out the Amish cult angle? Theo asked, trying to keep a straight face. Maybe he shouldnt have gotten high today.What?Right, youre the pro, Theo said. I forgot. And he walked out of the house.In the Volvo, Theo pulled the thin Pine Cove phone directory out of the baseball glove compartment and was looking up Dr. Valerie Riordans number when a call came in on the radio. Fight at the Head of the Slug Saloon. It was 830 A.M.MavisIt was rumored among the regulars at the Head of the Slug that under Mavis Sands slack, wrinkled, liver-spot ted skin lay the gleaming metal skeleton of a Terminator. Mavis first began augmenting her separat e in the fifties, first out of vanity breasts, eyelashes, hair. Later, as she aged and the creation of principal(prenominal)tenance eluded her, she began having parts replaced as they failed, until almost half of her body exercising weight was composed of stainless steel (hips, elbows, shoulders, finger joints, rods fused to vertebrae five through twelve), silicon wafers (hearing aids, pacemaker, insulin pump), advanced polymer resins (cataract replace-ment lenses, dentures), Kevlar fabric (abdominal wall reinforcement), ti-tanium (knees, ankles), and pork (ventricular heart valve). In fact, if not for the pig valve, Mavis would have jumped classes directly from animal to mineral, without the conventional stop at vegetable taken by most. The more creative drunks at the Slug (little more than vegetables themselves) swore that sometimes, between songs on the jukebox, one could hear tiny but powerful servomotors whirring Mavis around merchantman the bar. Mavis was careful never to crush a beer can or move a full keg in plain sight of the customers lest she feed the rumors and ruin her image of girlish vulner-ability.When Theo entered the Head of the Slug, he saw ex-scream-queen mollie Michon on the floor with her teeth locked into the calf of a grayish man who was screeching like a mashed cat. Mavis stood over them both, brandishing her Louisville Slugger, desexualise to belt one of them out of the park.Theo, Mavis shrilled, you got ten seconds to get this wacko out of my bar before I outlook her.No, Mavis. Theo raced forward and knocked Maviss bat aside while reaching into his back pocket for his handcuffs. He pried Mollys work force from around the mans ankle and shackled them behind her back. The gray-haired mans screams hit a higher pitch.Theo got down on the floor and spoke into Mollys ear. Let go, Molly. Youve got to let go of the mans forking.An animal sound emanated from Mollys throat and bubbled out through credit line and saliva.Theo strok ed her hair out of her face. I cant fix the problem if you dont tell me what it is, Molly. I cant understand you with that guys stagecoach in your mouth.Stand back, Theo, Mavis said. Im going to brain her.Theo waved Mavis away. The gray-haired man screamed even louder.Hey Theo shouted. Pipe down. Im trying to have a conversation here.The gray-haired man lowered his volume.Molly, look at me.Theo saw a blue eye look away from the leg and the bloodlust faded from it. He had her back. Thats obligation, Molly. Its me, Theo. Now whats the problem?She spit out the mans leg and turned to look at Theo. Mavis armed serviceed the man to a bar stool. Get her out of here, Mavis said. Shes eighty-sixed. This time forever.Theo kept his eyes locked on Mollys. be you okay?She nodded. Bloody drool was running down her chin. Theo grabbed a bar napkin and wiped it away, careful to keep his fingers away from her mouth.Im going to help you up now and were going to go outside and talk about this, okay ?Molly nodded and Theo picked her up by the shoulders, set her on her feet, and steered her toward the brink. He looked over his shoulder at the bitten man. You okay? You need a bear upon?I didnt do anything to her. Ive never seen that woman before in my life. I just halt in for a drink.Theo looked at Mavis for confirmation. He hit on her, Mavis said. But thats no excuse. A girl should appreciate the attention. She turned and batted her spiderlike false eyelashes at the bitten man. I could launch you some appreciation, sweetie.The bitten man looked around in a panic. No, Im fine. No doctor. Im just fine. My wifes waiting for me.As long as youre okay, Theo said. And you dont want to press charges or anything?No, just a misunderstanding. Soon as you get her out of here, Ill be heading out of town.There was a collective sigh of discomposure from the regulars who had been placing side bets on who Mavis would hit with her bat.Thanks, Theo said. He shot Mavis a surreptitious wink and led Molly out to the street, excusing himself and his prisoner as they passed an old Black man who was coming through the door carrying a guitar case.I spose a man run outta sweet talk and liquor, he gots to go to mo direct measures, the old Black man said to the bar with a dazzling grin. Someone here lookin fo a Bluesman?Molly MichonTheo put Molly into the passenger side of the Volvo. She sat with her head down, her great mane of gray-streaked blonde hair hanging in her face. She wore an oversized green sweater, tights, and high-top sneakers, one red, one blue. She could have been thirty or fifty and she told Theo a different age every time he picked her up.Theo went around the car and climbed in. He said, You know, Molly, when you bite a guy on the leg, youre right on the edge of a danger to others or yourself, you know that?She nodded and sniffled. A tear dropped out of the mass of hair and spotted her sweater.Before I start driving, I need to know that youre calmed down. Do I need to put you in the backseat?It wasnt a fit, Molly said. I was defending myself. He wanted a put up of me. She lifted her head and turned to Theo, but her hair still covered her face.Are you taking your drugs?Meds, they call them meds.Sorry, Theo said. Are you taking your meds?She nodded.Wipe your hair out of your face, Molly, I can only understand you.Handcuffs, whiz kid.Theo almost slapped his forehead idiot He really needed to stop getting stoned on the job. He reached up and carefully brushed her hair away from her face. The expression he found there was one of bemusement.You dont have to be so careful. I dont bite.Theo smiled. Well, actuallyOh fuck you. You going to take me to County?Should I?Ill just be back in seventy-two and the milk in my refrigerator will be spoiled.Then Id better take you home.He started the car and circled the block to head back to the Fly celestial pole Trailer Court. He would have taken a back way if he could, to save Molly some embarrassment, bu t the Fly Rod was right off Cypress, Pine Coves important street. As they passed the bank, people getting out of their cars turned to stare. Molly do faces at them out the window.That doesnt help, Molly.Fuck em. Fans just want a piece of me. I can give em that. Ive got my soul.Mighty generous of you.If you werent a fan, I wouldnt let you do this.Well, I am. Huge fan. Actually, hed never heard of her until the first time he was called to take her away from H.P.s Cafe, where she had attacked the espresso machine because it wouldnt quit staring at her.No one understands. Everyone takes a piece of you, then theres nothing left for you. Even the meds take a piece of you. Do you have any idea what Im talking about here?Theo looked at her. I have such a mind-numbing fear of the future that the only way I can function at all is with equal amounts of denial and drugs.Jeez, Theo, youre really fucked up.Thanks.You cant go around saying crazy shit like that.I dont normally. Its been a tough day so far.He turned into the Fly Rod Trailer Court twenty run-down trailers perched on the bank of Santa Rosa Creek, which carried only a trickle of water after the long, dry summer. A grove of cypress trees hid the trailer park from the main street and the view of passing tourists. The chamber of commerce had made the owner of the park take down the sign at the entrance. The Fly Rod was a dirty little secret for Pine Cove, and they kept it well.Theo stopped in front of Mollys trailer, a vintage fifties single-wide with small louvered windows and streaks of rust running from the roof. He got Molly out of the car and took off the handcuffs.Theo said, Im going to see Val Riordan. You want me to have her call something in to the chemists shop for you?No, Ive got my meds. I dont like em, but I got em. She rubbed her wrists. Why you going to see Val? You going nuts?Probably, but this is business. You going to be okay now?I have to study my lines.Right. Theo started to go, then turned. Molly, what were you doing at the Slug at eight in the morning?How should I know?If the guy at the Slug had been a local, Id be taking you to County right now, you know that?I wasnt having a fit. He wanted a piece of me.Stay out of the Slug for a while. Stay home. Just groceries, okay?You wont talk to the tabloids?He handed her a business card. Next time someone tries to take a piece of you, call me. I always have the cellular phone phone with me.She pulled up her sweater and tucked the card into the waistband of her tights, then, still holding up her sweater, she turned and walked to her trailer with a slow sway. 30 or fifty, under the sweater she still had a figure. Theo watched her walk, forgetting for a minute who she was. Without looking back, she said, What if its you, Theo? Who do I call then?Theo shook his head like a dog trying to clear water from its ears, then crawled into the Volvo and drove away. Ive been alone too long, he thought.